At times people can have those really off days, where it just seems pointless to continue on with life and it leads to nowhere.
At times it would just be best to crawl back into my little shit hole from which i came from.
At times maybe it would just be better to give up.
I am a coward at heart I send out lies upon lies only avoiding my true feelings, backstabbing, tormenting, and hating everyone around me. When will i finally meet the impossible expectations that my parents, my friends, and even my loved ones have set for myself?
I must not be the only one who feels this way, everyone has their own problems i just over exaggerate and complain about my own a lot more.
It could be the fact that we know what we are capable of but and set high standards for ourselves never being able to meet them. And disappointing myself is probably the worst feeling in the world. To make myself feel better i focus on petty stuff.
My physical fitness has never been better, i can run, lift, and do things i have never done before, so when did i become so weak?
its not like i personally hate Doe for flirting with every single guy, and flirting was never really my game anyway, id just talk and it would happen. although it was fun. so i guess i learned how it feels to be the girl in the pimp relationship AND IT FEELS LIKE SHIT, even though i feel as if i won i didnt want to. but one thing is for certain. Doe is now over. You gotta know how to play the game and im still only beggining.
THIS GURL, i found out today that not all girls are classy. when people complain that guys are douchebags and players i get that, but when a girl is like that, idk even. I FEEL YOUR PAIN ALL YOU SINGLE COMPLAINING HOEBAGS WHO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE BUT COMPLAIN ABOUT 1 GUY, which i am currently doing BUT NONETHELESS. people need to learn to be classy especially doe
So l recently met this girl who i severly mis judged, twice. HUEHUEH. her name is well lets call her Doe. Doe was small and sweet or it seemed that way. we had similar interests and her description of her perfect guy WELL I DONT WANNA BE ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY BUT HUEHUE TIS ME OF COURSE.
So of course she finds out that i lied, and then let the hate parade on me begin. not only did i feel like i had eaten my own shit, taken a shit, then eaten it again, i got repetitive hate rants from whale every night for a sold er 4 days? im not so sure but twas pretty bad AND IT HURT ME, LIKE A LITTLE BITCH. now i can honestly say i had messed up and in the worst possible scenario.
But hey, i had a blast and it was a great experience, and even the bad times helped me out in a really weird way. thanks whale
we meet 2 days later, and we start talking about what happened.OKAY NOW BEFORE WE START JUDGING ME, she was complaining about her problems, i had nothing to say, except for crazy other shit and i was really not being smart when i said this but. I said that my friend has a bun in the oven and i gotta take care of her. SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL OF YOU, IT JUST CAME INTO MY SICK AND DEMENTED HEAD
then it goes downhill, i didnt really mean it, i just kinda wanted to say it. I was pushing this whole relationship convincing myself i liked this girl but i didnt, we had no chemistry and i wasnt being myself. so i got scared. i have never really been a outward douchebag to a girl and i wanted to come out the good guy out of the relationship. so my friends kinda hinted at it, and she chatted me on video chat. Yes. I ended it over video chat